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Changing the Channel Out of random curiosity as to what sort of "talent" was settled upon for the finalists, last night, I found myself watching AMERICAN IDOL for the second time ever, and on the whole, I was not as offended as I thought I might be. The worst thing about the show, unfortunately, is all of the extra bullshit that's added in: the advertisements for the movie Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guava or whatever his last name is will be in this spring, the tour of the house where the contestants live, the smattering of coverage from the first appearance of this season's "final twelve". I don't need that extra nonsense. Show me the performances; give me the judges' critiques; move on. There are enormous cattle-call auditions in various locales around the U.S. which I've had the pleasure (if you'd like to call it that) of attending as one of the representatives from a theatre (I was the Musical Director). In these auditions, each person auditioning has between ninety seconds and two minutes in front of all of the companies' reps, depending on the set of auditions, to show their stuff; reps scribble notes about each performer to decide whom they wish to call back for further (private) examination later; if you're still going at the end of your very short allotted time, one of the handlers yells, "Thank you" or "Time", and you're done; you leave and the next performer enters. It may seem brutal, but if you know what you're looking for and you've got your eyes open, you can see damn near everything you need to in that period of time. I saw more than I needed to last night on IDOL. A few general comments first: 1. Gladys Knight. That woman was beautiful at the height of her popularity, and she still looks good today, whatever age she may be. And she can still sing. She truly is a living legend, and I do feel she managed to add a bit of extra class to the show. 2. By and large, as I stated about the episode I watched earlier, I tend to agree with Simon, and in fact, I find him to be quite amusing, and nowhere near so nasty or harsh as some people make him out to be. 3. Ryan Seacrest: Son, what the hell are you wearing?! Did you accidentally throw that outfit into the wash load with the bleach? And what is up with your hair?! Are you sort-of half-heartedly trying to grow dreads? That said, I think you're adorable. Quit lying about not being gay ("That's not yellow; it's custard!") and come be my radio bitch. I promise you'll like it. 4. Randy Jackson: Stop calling everyone "dawg." Especially the ladies. It's just not cool, and you're old enough to know how to speak better than that. Don't pander to the kids. 5. freevibe.com has to be stopped. Their advertisements skew statistics and are grossly misleading, and their examinations of various substances on their website are shockingly incomplete, and in some cases, utterly inaccurate. I'd like to know who's REALLY behind them. And here's the synopsis: Corey Clark, "Against All Odds": This is one of the first songs I ever performed publicly, and I did it a LOT. I also did it in a lower key. Corey's got an alright voice, but his performance is way too tentative, and I think that hobbles him vocally. Standing in place swaying with a sort-of unsure half-smile is not the way to sell that song. Furthermore, there were some pitch problems from the outset, and Simon's right; while the high shrieking at the end was an interesting interpretive choice, it was a little painful for the listener. Ruben Studdard, "A Whole New World": I have always pretty much hated this song. That said, I got goose-bumps from this performance. Man, can that boy sing! He's focused, emotive, communicative, and even humble. That's what it's all about. Ms. Knight had it right when she said, "You will be America's Velvet Teddy Bear...You soothe the soul." Listening to him was like all the best parts of smoking really good weed, without the impairment of the senses. Trenyce, "I Have Nothing": I've always loved this song, but I never liked the way Whitney Houston sang it. Trenyce has excellent stage presence, but her voice was a bit too breathy in the low ranges and sounded throaty in the upper registers, which makes me worry about her technique, which knocks a couple points off of her final score in my book. Clay Aiken, "Somewhere Out There": This is another song I used to perform (also in a different key), with my friend Christy, and one that I never liked much. I was really struck by Clay's performance of this, though. Ms. Knight said, "You are a mystery," and I knew exactly what she meant (and no, I don't think she was referring to the fact that I think he's a 'mo, but I'm not quite sure). His voice is totally unexpected, and he makes it look like making that sound is the easiest, most natural thing on earth. I was as overwhelmed as he was at Simon's high praise for his performance. The only problems I have with him are his tendency to sing the "r" vowel, which happens with many Southerners, and his placement of the last note (a G), which grew stronger as he held it, but I knew (and so did he) that the initial attack wasn't quite what he wanted. The human voice is SUCH a temperamental instrument. Kimberly Caldwell, "The Shoop Shoop Song (It's in His Kiss)": This song was not the best choice she could have made, as half of it is sung by the backing track. While she has a very energetic stage presence, it's a little too all-over-the-place, and her voice is a little squeaky and tends to be pinched at the upper end. Simon nails it here: She's got great potential, but that performance could have happened in any theme park. Joshua Gracin, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing": The judges are right; Diane Warren has a history of writing great pop songs, and this is among them. I like the fact that he chose to reset this as a country song (because let's face it, no one can do Steven Tyler but Steven Tyler), but ultimately, his delivery was just too reminiscent of a local bar on karaoke night. His "country-ness," despite where he comes from, seemed contrived to me, almost grotesque, and as much as I wanted to be moved by his sincerity and the fact that he's a Marine, the row of Marines sitting in the audience moved me more. He just doesn't have the polish. Carmen Rasmussen, "Hopelessly Devoted to You": This is a great song; it's too bad her performance was not so great. If her technique were better and she didn't have problems with some of her vowel placements, she'd sound quite a lot like Crystal Gayle (whom I loved as a child, both for her music and for the fact that I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world), but this girl is only like seventeen. If she works it, she's got some potential there, but right now, she's not there yet. Charles Grigsby, "You Can't Win": Much as the audience was playing along with his performance, he should have chosen something better-known. Honestly, I'm not quite sure how this guy made the final eleven. His upper range is throaty; his low end doesn't exist; his attempts to "work the audience" came off as uncomfortable and trying too hard. It simply didn't work for me. Rickey Smith, "It Might Be You": It took me a moment to recognise this song, which really is quite lovely. Rickey has a nice falsetto, but some pitch problems resulted from what seemed to be a lack of proper support, and ultimately, I think he just wasn't completely comfortable with the song, which caused him to communicate less well with the audience than some of his colleagues did and limited the impact of his presence. Julia DeMato, "Flashdance (What a Feelin')": This used to be one of my favourite songs, but her performance was simply unremarkable. The song began decently, but got worse, because she just couldn't seem to carry its energy while maintaining good singing. Too bad. Kimberley Locke, "Home": The second song from THE WIZ of this show, and a better choice than the earlier one. She's no Diana Ross, though, as she began the song a bit too unconvincingly in her low ranges, there were a few pitch problems throughout, and her phrasing is far too short, which renders the lyric nearly incoherent. She's a halfway decent belter, but those are a dime a dozen. At this point, being uninterested in hearing Kelly Clarkson's new material (given that her first material was pretty insipid to begin with), and fearing the debacle which might ensue when all eleven of the remaining finalists were put onstage to sing together (absurd diva-ish posturing and attempts to outdo each other in the vocal masturbation department, no doubt), I changed the channel. I don't really think I'll feel the need to watch again. r
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