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Foc-Us The continued schizoid nature of the weather of late persists in making me feel consistently ill. At least, that's what I keep telling myself is the source of my frequent achiness. It might also be the trips to the gym. It could be an allergic reaction to something related to my sofa, on which I've lately developed the habit of falling asleep. It could also be somehow related to my sinuses' reaction to the apparently rather dry air in my apartment. Obviously, I need to clean and fire up the humidifier to see if I can do something to remedy that. The walk to and from the office yesterday, though, was absolutely miserable. I'm fond of saying I'm only happy when it rains (Thank you, Ms. Shirley), but it was cold, windy, rainy, generally miserable. My piece-of-shit umbrella (practically a waste of $10) turned inside-out at least once while traveling in both directions (luckily for me, if I point it into the wind, it rights itself). We've had plenty of precipitation; it's time for the sun to come out, along with all the typical attendant springtime craziness. It's certainly already going on in my brain. I just attended a "Lunch & Learn" presentation from a lighting distributor (No, I don't specify lighting fixtures, but I find this stuff interesting, and hey, it was a free lunch.), and the dude giving the presentation was a fuckin' hotty. We're talkin' I'd like to follow him out to his car & shag him senseless in the parking lot in broad daylight hotty. A little shorter than I am, crew-cut brown hair (and I'd swear I saw the remnants of some highlights in the very front -- point for the camp predicting he bats for the boys' team, as, I think, is the fact that he was staring me down from the front desk as I stood n the middle of the office talking to a co-worker), pretty greenish eyes, great features, and obviously a pretty well-kept bod underneath that shirt & tie -- nice ass, too (Yeah, I caught a glimpse as he was bending over to do something). I was all about pulling a Brian Kinney on his ass, but there was really no opportunity, and I'm not entirely sure he was getting the vibe, though I was definitely maintaining some eye contact during his presentation. Oh, well, he's a product rep; he'll be back. On the other hand, maybe he was straight? Nah...No such thing. (I'm kidding; even MY ego has limits.) I've realised I'm developing some very bad habits. Now that I have smokes, I go home and I smoke in the evening, and I have a drink, and I don't feel like doing anything else, and I go to bed, and in the morning, I over-sleep. I spend way too much time on the internet; you'd think since I'm on all day at work 'cause it's my job, I'd want not to be on when I get home, but not so. I get home and go online, reading stuff and looking for certain friends with priviliges with whom I want to have wild spring sex. I have goals; I'm just not accomplishing any of them. Finish dealing with the apartment. Go to the gym (It's only a couple weeks before I go to Provincetown for a week with an old friend, and I'd like to actually feel comfortable being half-naked on the beach). Study for certification tests related to my job. Write and practice music. But I don't feel like focusing on any of this, which is very unfortunate indeed. So now, I have the list; I just have to schedule myself to do it. Does it need to be more specific? I don't think so. I just need to get my shit together. r
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