Enforced Insomnia Isn't Funny
12 November 2004 4 13:32
I am incredibly tired. Exhausted. I've been getting a lot less sleep for the last few weeks than I should, and it's seriously showing, and my throat and sinuses are rebelling against the combination of schizoid weather and excessive work.
The weekend does not promise much respite from the maddening schedule: After work this evening, I shall go to some bar to celebrate La Shiv's engagement to a lovely bloke wot's not got a 'blog (that I know of). Tomorrow, perhaps, if I'm lucky, I can manage to unpack my bedroom. I've been sleeping on a mattress piled high with clothing for the last few weeks because I haven't had time to put it away, take it to the dry-cleaner, or otherwise generally deal with it, or with the remaining sea of boxes and papers which clutter my little universe. Tomorrow night, I have a nagging feeling that there's something I'm supposed to do, but I cannot remember what it is. Sunday morning, of course, will be Mass as usual, after which I shall dash to Grand Central Station to catch a train back to New Haven (one wonders, sometimes, why I moved to the City, considering how often I must go back to Connecticut on musical business) to sing more and party.
Currently, I'm enormously frustrated by the fact that the internet service in this place is so shoddy that I cannot open my Yahoo e-mail account to figure out when the last time I got laid was. Yes, it was that fucking long ago. 16th October, actually (internet service has resumed at the NYSE -- you must all be relieved). I may as well go ahead and wait another four days to make it a full month, which I believe would be a record for me, at least as far as recent memory serves. There's actually a two-fold problem involved. Issue No. 1 is that I am so fucking busy that I don't have time to fuck. Seriously. The night before last, I got home around 9.30, and I was so fatigued from the past few days that I almost immediately fell asleep on the futon in the living-room. That was the earliest I've arrived home in I can't remember how long. I have to be out the door by 8 a.m. (which means up by 7 a.m.), so the late nights are keeping me from behaving badly. The second issue is that I don't want to settle for doing just anyone merely for the sake of having someone to do. I want it to be someone I really dig, not just someone for whom I'm settling. I want to be okay with it if (s)he wants to spend the night and snuggle, and vice-versa. I want there to be excitement, maybe a little nervousness, Passion. I haven't completely forgotten what that's like, but it's been a VERY long time since I've felt it. I want it back. (Praeterition: I pass over all the sorts of internal issues involved in this process, including the fact that I don't feel worthy to so much as approach the majority of the people who'd interest me, and in order to do so, I feel I'd need a good hairstylist, a gym membership, and perhaps a tanning salon, but we're working on these issues -- After all, how can anybody else like you if you don't like yourself? Of course, whether I like myself has become a much less important issue as a result of my insane schedule, which simply vapourises any personal concerns it finds in its path -- See All My Unpaid Bills for further information.)
Because I cannot keep myself from posting political bits, follow this link, if you haven't already seen it. And know that Christians are NOT what Bushy and his "Religious Right" freakazombies represent. THEY are something entirely different. Call them what you will, but PLEASE DON'T call them Christians, because that seriously pisses off those of us who really are. More on that some other time.
On a lighter note, I found myself feeling whimsical and doing some online quizzes yesterday, and here are the results:
I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Bard Mage
Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.
Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.
Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.
Secondary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.
Deity:
Hanali Cenanil is the Chaotic Good elven goddess of love, beauty, and art. She is also known as the Heart of Gold and Lady Goldheart. Her followers delight in creation and youth, and work to spread happiness, love, and beauty. Their preferred weapon is the dagger.
Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of
NeppyMan (e-mail)
I took this one a couple times, getting a slightly different result each time, but this was the one on which I think I responded most unguardedly.
You are Rowlf.
You are a loner, and love classical music, You can
play the piano without opposable thumbs. Then
again, you are just a Muppet.
ALSO KNOWN AS:
Ol' Brown Ears
HOBBIES:
Piano playing, punning, fetching.
QUOTE:
"My bark is worse than my bite, and my piano
playing beats 'em both."
FAVORITE MOVIE:
"The Dogfather"
FAVORITE COMPOSER:
Poochini
FAVORITE SONG:
"I've Never Harmed An Onion, So Why Should
They Make Me Cry?"
What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I think I took that one four or five times and still came up with the same result. I don't think it comes as a surprise. Now, I've just gotta learn "I Hope That Something Better Comes Along" (again).
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