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Forked-Up So I'm high, and I have a little bit of an alcohol buzz going on, too, and I always think best this way...Okay, sometimes, anyway...And I'm watching John Mayer Has a TV Show, and I'm thinking he's one funny motherfucker. And I'm thinking all my hating on him was largely powered by jealousy, 'cause I want to be him, only with a piano, though I do still think vocally, he sounds like he wants to be Dave Matthews, and in that one song, he totally rips off a Carly Simon riff. He's ridiculously funny, though. And I'm thinking, 'cause the last show I was watching was on all these sort-of fringey gay entertainment figures (like Ant and Christopher Rice and Gay Pimp and Tru Dog, not like Elton John and Melissa Etheridge and Ellen DeGeneres and Tom Cruise, but also not like if some of the figures the gays claim, like Leo DiCaprio, Julia Roberts (WHAT?!), or Orlando Bloom or, say, Tom Cruise) and their years pre-out-ness, that I wish I'd gone to my 10-year high school reunion. And I wish that had I gone, I would have had the balls and the alcohol to have said to the people who made my teenage years a living Hell, "You know what? Yeah, you were right. And I wish I'd really stuck it to you with that fact at the time. Actually, no, you weren't right. 'Cause I LOVE fucking guys, and let me tell you, I have fucked (and been fucked by) some fucking HOT guys! But you know what else? I absolutely love to eat hot, tight, wet pussy more than any supposedly straight guy I know." Transition. And now, I'm watching that same show as I started on, My Coolest Years, and I'm horrified to learn that Anne Coulter (The Whore of Babylon, remember?) was a hippie and a Dead-Head, but I'm rather pleased and vindicated to know that Wallace Luyton was one of us, too. My Mother, brilliant woman that she is, though she is unable to acknowledge my sexuality, has acknowledged for years that I was born 20 years too late, calling me her hippie son. Carrot Top, too? Hunh. Who'da thought?! I like bathing quite a lot, though. (I've just come to a major realisation: I totally had hippie stoner teachers in high school. I was just totally clueless.) It's like Pink said: Right? Tee-hee. Just be who you are, and enjoy that, and never let anybody else make you feel lesser for who you are, okay? Yeah. This has been DJRainDog posting stoned and a little drunk to his diary. r
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